Observations from the F.A.R.M. (Fresh Air & Room to Move)
“Yes, it is. I have to live with you!”
“No, you don’t! You can go live with Cassie. That’d be great!”
“I don’t want to live with Cassie.”
“Yeah, that’s because her mother would never let you, anyway.”
“Yes, she would!”
“No way! You’re such a brat; no one wants you to live with them.”
“Well, at least I don’t stink!”
“You do, too! You smell like a pig!”
“You should talk! You are the smelliest kid on the bus!”
“Well, at least I don’t act like an idiot every time a boy gets on the bus!”
“Yeah. Right. You act like an idiot every time anyone gets on the bus.”
“Just shut up.” “You shut up!” “No, you!” “No, you!”
“No, you!”
I pushed myself away from the doorjamb where I had been leaning, arms folded across my chest as I listened to this clever conversation. The sound of their raised, irritated voices had pulled me downstairs from my bedroom office on the second floor.
“Here’s an idea, guys! Why don’t you both be quiet!”
But Josie, completely un-intimidated by my presence or my suggestion, had to get the last word in. She couldn’t let her younger brother have the final say.
“No, you!”
“Josie! I said, be quiet!” I could see the wheels turning in that lovely head. I could see the split second the cogs meshed and she decided it wasn’t worth the risk to utter one final “No, you!” Wise choice.
“Well, tell Eli to quit telling me to shut up!” I cocked my head to one side. “I believe I just heard you telling him the same thing!”
“Yeah, Josie!”
“You, young man…” I swung to face my 13-year-old. “You be quiet!”
“She started it!”
“Nuh-uh! He threw the remote at me!”
“Yeah, after you moved it out of the chair, where I was sitting!”
“Guys! BE QUIET!!” “You got out of the chair! You snooze, you lose!”
“Josie! Enough!”
“Mum! I was watching Stargate SG-1 and I got up to go to the bathroom, and Josie took my chair!”
“You’ve been watching TV for two hours! It’s my turn to pick a show!”
“After THIS show is over! You can’t just change it in the middle of a show, and you can’t take my chair just because I go to the bathroom!”
“Well, I can’t see the TV from the couch!”
“You don’t like Stargate, anyway! You don’t need to see it!”
“I need to see MY show!”
“You shouldn’t even be WATCHING your show!”
“You’ve hogged the TV all day! First you played XBox, and then you watched your stupid shows!”
“Your show is the stupid one!” “No, YOURS is!” “No, YOURS is!”
Click. “Good night, guys. I love you. Even though you drive me nuts.”
